A smörgåsbord of sick innuendo

Cast: Riteish Deshmukh, Tusshar Kapoor, Neha Sharma, Sarah Jane Dias, Anupam Kher, Chunky Pandey, Kavin Dave, lots of dogs

Director: Sachin Yardi

Rating: 1 star

The poster should have given me a hint. Clearly, the film is about two sex-deprived souls who will ogle at any round object and find it suggestive. Clearly, the filmmakers bask in the contempt of critics. I knew there would be dwarves and gay men and disabled people in the film to facilitate the crass humour that this genre revels in.

But I couldn’t have predicted how little the film would make me laugh. Or even entertain me. I dozed off during the interval and had to be shaken awake by a family balancing large popcorn cartons. I pity those families – to spend close to Rs. 2000 on a movie that could have been made on a daily budget of that much.

The presence of animals in the film prompts such lines as, “This is the only pussy you’ll ever get”, “Your doggy has style” followed by “Yes, I call it doggy style”, and “Pug la”. A woman nicknamed ‘BJ’, a family that “welcums” people to an event, a man who lisps the word “suit”, and random Marathi dialogues constitute the rest of the raw material for hilarity. Naturally, I slept.

Try this: “Oh, my God, Mrs. Godrej! She’s such a cool lady!” “Do you know her?” “No, no!” “Then how do you know ki she’s such a cool lady?” “Fridge banate hain, na?” Then, there’s wordplay on the names of Nargis Fakhri and Diana Penty.

Riteish Deshmukh plays a DJ called Sid, thus allowing for the word “bajaana” to be punned on throughout the movie. A pug plays his macho dog, whose signature ‘line’ is a ‘look’ that’s accompanied by Akshay Kumar’s, “kyun thak rahe ho?” Tusshar Kapoor plays Adi, a wannabe actor who does ads on DSN – Daily Shopping Network – thus allowing for racist humour. Even Anupam Kher is reduced to saying things like, “One stick, so many balls” as he plays pool.

Do you really care about the story? Well, here it is – two fools fall for two hot chicks, who happen to be best friends. They pretend to be lesbian. The fools meet lots of real gay men who are friends with these fake lesbians.  And all this takes close to three hours, and a bunch of tuneless songs and badly-choreographed dances and skimpy costumes to play itself out.

The Verdict: The humour in this film is low brow enough to tempt a child in Class 5 to smirk and walk out.