My Favouritest Movie Dialogues

* Aaya hoon, kuch toh loot kar jaoonga. Khandaani chor hoon. Mogambo ka bhatija, Crime Master Gogo - Andaaz Apna Apna
The craze fest of AAA had a bevy of outrageous lines, but this one takes the cake. For the first time in Hindi cinema, the bio-data of the villain consisted of lineage. Gogo was no ordinary criminal. He was the great Mogambo's nephew.
Of course, he backed up this lineage with the ability to make a heist every time he made an appearance. Shakti Kapoor - in his funniest role - gave a completely new dimension to the character which went around sporting a ponytail, a Chinese moustache and a cape-poncho outfit! I have heard fans use this line to describe anything that they thought they were born to do. As a colleague used to say, "Khandaani ASM hoon. Aaya hoon, kuch toh invoice karke jayoonga..."

* Cake khane ke liye hum kahin bhi pahunch jaate hain - Dil Chahta Hain
DCH was cool. DCH was trend-setting. DCH turned the Hindi film friendship on its head. Just like his father did in the landmark Sholay, Farhan Akhtar got his characters to play pranks on their best friends. The bombastic speech announcing sacrifices for friends went out of the penthouse window.
And when Saif was thanked for spending an evening with a not-so-cool friend of his best friend, he articulated the reason why all of us sing Happy Birthday so enthusiastically at office birthday parties... we are there for the cake! He did it for his friend. But the self-deprecating reason was a Hindi film first.

* Chinay Seth, jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain, woh patthar nahin phnekte - Waqt
This line would have meant nothing if it was not delivered by Raaj Kumar with a whole lot of swaying, neck-rubbing and husky voicing. After all, what was it except for a literal translation of a standard English proverb? But then, Hindi cinema is seldom about content and form is king!
Also, this proverb now has the distinction of being the Most Spoofed One on radio channels. One version goes, "Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain, woh light on karke kapde nahin badalte...". And my favourite one is "Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain, woh ghar Mallika Sherawat ko kiraye pe dena chahte hain!!"

* Dil pe mat le, yaar. Haath mein le - Hyderabad Blues
Nagesh Kukunoor's debut film was lifted straight out of his life - and ours. His bride-seeking mom, his garrulous uncle, his no-nonsense girlfriend. We had seen all of them somewhere - though the most recognisable face was his chubby best friend with a killer sense of humour!
His philosophy about life, women and everything was oh-so-true and served with a panache not seen often in a debutant actor.
His most famous line (which inspired the name of a film starring Manoj Bajpai) ended up being used by people in pretty similar or wildly dissimilar situations. And it was so popular that all one had to do was to start on the first line and inevitably some one else completed the second!

* Johnny karta toh hain beimaani ka kaam, lekin imaandari se - Johnny Mera Naam
The suave criminal, Johnny, had no qualms about smuggling diamonds hidden in tennis racquets but he did feel a bit 'offended' when someone tried to check the consignment. I might be a thief, he said, but an honest one. A hint of irony, a lot of style, a bobbing of the head in Dev Anand style and you have celluloid magic!
This line came back to me a lot later when I asked a colleague if a distributor (we employed to bribe someone) was trustworthy. And he replied, "Boss, just because he does dishonest things does not mean he is not honest..." I did not point out the wonderful oxymoron and just took his word for it!

* Main aaj bhi phneke hue paise nahin uthata - Deewaar
This has to be the Most Perfect Screenplay Ever Written. And this has to be the Most Dramatic Line Ever Said Onscreen.
Vijay is a little shoeshine boy. Two big bosses come to him for a polish. After they are done, they drop a coin in front of him. The little shoeshine boy stands up and says he works for a living and not on charity. The bigger of the bosses is taken in by the boy's gumption. He makes his flunky bend down, pick up the coin and hand it over to the boy.
Twenty years later, the boss recruits a dock labourer for his operations and throws him a fat bundle of notes. The two-penny labourer contemplates the fortune and says that the little shoeshine boy may have grown a lot taller but he still doesn't take charity. This time, the boss bends down and hands him his first salary.
Once in a century, we have a moment like this one. And it is well worth the wait!

* Samajh mein nahin aa raha hain ki aapki gale ki taarif karoon ya aapki haath ki. Aapki awaaz ki taarif karoon ya aapki andaaz ki. Aapki jeet ki taarif karoon ya aapki haar ki - Shaan
Shaan was the ultimate style movie. It was loaded with stars, but there was no doubt who the real star of the film was. Salim-Javed gave the best lines of the film to Mr Amitabh Bachchan, who delivered them with characteristic aplomb. But here, he is no longer the Angry Young Man but a Cool Young Con as he effortlessly moves from taking diamonds, jewelry and revenge.
And when he meets a beautiful woman (Parveen Babi) stealing a coveted necklace right under his nose while singing a classic song (Pyaar karne waale pyaar karte hain shaan se), he is at a loss of words.
And when he gets his wits together, he comes up with the honey-tongued classic. The flattery... and don't miss the pun on the haar!

* Jo dar gaya, samjho mar gaya - Sholay
You guys don't know why?

* Vijay: Teja, main aa gaya hoon. / Teja: Hello. - Zanjeer
Nobody wanted to play the role of the police officer on a short fuse. Nobody probably bothered to read the script either. If they had, the stars would have salivated at the prospect of having lines that were going to make history.
The most famous one was the warning to Pran. The one about not mistaking the police station as his ancestral property. My favourite is the totally understated line in which the police officer comes out of jail and makes a simple announcement to the smuggler that he is about to destroy him. Not to be outdone, the smuggler (Ajeet) employs his characteristic poise and welcomes him. The gunpowder intensity shines through, even in the simple words. Ajeet lives up to his silken reputation as well.
And of course, there is the subtext of a hero announcing himself to tinsel town... Main aa gaya hoon.