Music & Lyrics: PJ goes to Bollywood

How many song jokes can you think of? In between a mail used to do the rounds, which had an absolute gem…
Tum aa gaye ho, Noor aa gaya hain
Chalo teeno milkar picture chale!
Gave a complete new dimension to the wonderful words of Gulzar!

Then that graduated to riddles on song lyrics. Simple enough, if you remember lyrics of some of the hit songs or at least, if you can associate the tangential questions to the correct songs? Don’t understand? Okay, example…
- Who is Joe? Don’t know?
- Okay, sing with me… Kambakht ishqqqq hainnnnn Joe…
Simple, no? Okay, so now you should be able to answer the next question.
- What is Woe?
- Yes, right! Saara jahaannnnnn hainnnnn Woe!
Next line of the same song, got it? Okay, enough enough – no more applause!

Fine, we will start the game now – with a simple one. But the fun lies in managing to sing out the answers!
Luv and Kush are walking around in their village and Luv falls into a ditch. Why?
Of course, everybody knows Luv is blind!
But remember, here comes the clincher… Kush jumped right in after him! Why did he do that? He was not blind, was he?
No, he wasn’t. But remember, Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!

So, we will move on the next level – yes?
- There were two boys – Pyaar and Dil. What lovely names, I say! They had a father called Ho.
- Why Ho?
- Abbe, haven’t you heard every third guy in the world is a Chinese? Now listen… Ho, Pyar and Dil stayed near two beautiful places called Kia and Dia. Pyar and Dil wanted to go to these places and asked Dad for permission. But instead of giving permission to them, Ho went there himself. Why?
- Because he was mean?
- Apart from that, you must remember… Pyar Kia nahin jaata, Ho jaata hain / Dil Dia nahin jaata, Ho jaata hain…

The next one has a bit of a personal history associated with it. It was told to me by a batchmate of mine in b-school. He must have made it up because he had a flair for these things from a very early age. But it seems he started blogging even before that so now he is called India’s first business blogger and companies consult him on how to start blogs. Stand up comedy’s loss is corporate India’s gain…
Anyway, he asked me this at the breakfast table.
He got a plateful of toasts and asked if I knew what they were called in Hindi. Of course, I knew – they were called pao.
Right, he said and asked me if the plate (on which the toasts were kept) was called Jannat, then what would be the name of our professor?
Huh? My first reaction.
He said, the professor’s name should be “Ishq ki chhaon”.
Huh huh? My second reaction.
But when you sing Gulzar’s lines from Chhaiyya Chhaiyya, then you realize the elegance of the question.
Jinke ‘sir’ ho ‘ishq ki chhaon’ / ‘Pao’ ke neeche ‘Jannat’ hogi…
Pity he never reveals his true talents on his blog and prefers to dwell on deadly boring stuff like employee retention and HR best practices!

The last one now…
There were twin sisters called June and Julie. (Good pun, no?) They had to go for a picnic so they hired two buses since their families were quite large. On reaching the picnic spot, they got off from the buses and generally walked around a bit. When they came back, they realized that everything in the buses – all their belongings, food, picnic games, even the seats of the buses – had got stolen. The thieves left behind nothing at all. Not a single frigging thing. Imagine!
Can you know imagine what June said to Julie after this tragedy?
Na kuch tere bus mein Julie / Na kuch mere bus mein…
As Gulshan Grover says, “Maaiiind-Blowwwiiinggg”!

Okay, on popular request – the last one. The very last because Mad Momma is already a little more than angry now!
Have you guys seen Guide? Yes?
Have you seen the song from the film – Gaata rahe mere dil? Yes? Very good!
Do you remember what Waheeda Rehman was wearing during the song? No? Well, she was wearing this really beautiful light pink (peach?) saree.
Now, the question – in most movies of the 60’s, the heroines used to change their costumes several times during a song. But in this song, Waheeda carries on wearing the same saree for the entire duration. Why?
Don’t know? No idea?
Well, if you pay attention to the lyrics of the song, then you will hear Dev Anand actually requesting Waheeda not to do so…
O mere humraahi, mere baahein thame chalna / Badle duniya ‘saree’, tum na badalna…

* Takes a deep bow * Swish of cloak * Exit to thunderous applause *